5 Guys You Should Never Date

There are just some guys who are off limits. They are not off limits because they are taken or because they are in a relationship, or because they are straight (cue the sad violins), but because they are basically walking red flags. There are just some guys who you should not only think twice about being in a relationship with, but are even terrible for one-night stand. These guys come in all shapes and sizes – and you’ve probably run into a few before – but if you haven’t, it’s important to know who to look out for before you fall into a serious trap – and I mean serious.

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Here are 5 guys you should never date…

  1. The tweaker.  We have all met this guy once or twice, or more, in our lifetime. The tweaker comes in many shapes and sizes – not just the meek, wiry variety with terrible complexion that we are all used to. How do you know if he’s a tweaker? If you meet a guy who has mysteriously been awake for more than 10 days and has been on a party cruise in Ibiza, and then randomly found himself in a boathouse in Vancouver, chances are that you are dealing with someone who has a little boost in life. No one can traverse that many continents and party that relentlessly without a boost. Unless you want to take a magic carpet ride to a maniacal and debauched circus party of underwear and vodka, you should probably not date the tweaker – at least until his party days are over. You won’t be happy when you wake up in a lot of mysterious hotel rooms from one day to the next.
  2. The biker leather daddy. Okay, we’ve all seen these guys cruise the boulevard, but have you ever talked to one? Dated one? Leather daddies dress like that for a reason – because they are seriously into leather. Not just wearing it, but getting tied up in it and spanked, whipped, and erotically tortured – consensually of course. Yet, unless you want to be a part of a serious BDSM lifestyle or want to end up as someone’s sexy pool boy slave, you probably don’t want to date a leather daddy. Fun to look at and fun to party with, but when it comes time to bring one home to your real daddy, you should probably think twice.
  3. The guy who doesn’t wear socks in the winter. Okay, what is this no socks thing in the winter? Any guy who chooses vanity over simple survival is not datable. More than that, he probably cares more about how his Cuban heels look with his new designer jeans than he is with how you feel. These fashion snobs are also un-datable, because they are essentially addicted to designer fashion. The no socks in winter thing are just an example, but a pretty common one. I’ve met a lot of guys who do this, because “they don’t care how cold it is, we just want to look fabulous.” Well, I got news for you – you are welcoming frostbite and that is not sexy or fashionable – not in the least.
  4. The guy in the suit who never has it dry cleaned. This guy is similar to the guy who doesn’t wear socks in the winter, but maybe worse. No one really knows that his suit hasn’t been dry cleaned in multiple weeks, because they are not around him long enough to notice. However, if you start dating him, your red flags will definitely start to rise as you notice him pulling on the same suit day in and day out. This is a sign of only one thing: he is too cheap or doesn’t have the money to buy a brand new suit, but wants to look like he is professional or has money. The solution for him, of course, is to wear the same suit day in and day out. Dating him won’t be fun, because he’ll always be complaining about money.
  5. The guy who takes you out to a nice dinner, but recommends the cheapest options on the menu. Again, this might be the same guy who wears the same suit every single day, or he might just have 10 different – very similar – cheap suits. This guy will take you out to the nicest sushi restaurant, but does all the ordering – when the food comes you realize that he has picked out the smallest quantity of the cheapest items on the menus – with water to drink. He might also take you out to the best steak dinner, but recommends the hamburger. Dating this guy will be a struggle, because you will always be dealing with his frugality, which will undoubtedly get in the way.

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At the end of the day, these are just a few of the most common types of guys you should never date. If you do, don’t say I didn’t warn you. If you meet a guy, make sure you go on a few dates first before you decide to shack up, because even though you might be having fun, if you don’t notice that he has been wearing that same suit for a while, or that he is always ordering the cheapest options on the menu, you might not be in for the time of your life, but the worst time of your life.

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