A Gay Man’s Guide To Dealing With Jealousy

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A Gay Man’s Guide To Dealing With Jealousy

Is jealousy cultural, or is it biological – that is the question. People have been debating for hundreds of years about what jealousy is. In the 1500s people thought jealousy was a form of demonic possession of the soul, but these days we’re getting a firmer grasp on the whole science of it and why it happens in the first place. The general feelings that are associated with jealousy are varied, but they have to do with insecurity, anxiety, fear of losing something, anger, and depression – it is a rabbit hole indeed. But if it is such a rabbit hole, why do we put ourselves through it? Why are some people more jealous than other people? It seems that we might just go on debating for the next couple hundred years.

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In the meantime, here are a few ways to deal with jealousy…

  1. One of the best ways to deal with jealousy is to make it a part of who you are. I mean, we all have our flaws and jealousy is definitely one of them. How great we would be, if we weren’t so damn jealous all the time. Yet, there is no way of getting around it – unless you do some serious meditating or something. If this is the case, though, you need to find a partner who is at about the same jealousy level as you. This way you can be on the same page. For instance, if you both are in agreement that visiting an old lover of coffee is grounds for a jealous rage, chances are that it won’t happen, so you don’t ever have to worry about it. Then again, most people who are prone to be jealous are often the ones who have issues with fidelity.
  2. Don’t hate yourself for feeling jealous. You know that feeling you get after you get mad or raise your voice – that sickening, guilty feeling deep in your stomach? It’s not a good feeling, and it can be avoided. It is important to know that jealousy is a part of being human. We all get jealous, even if you claim to not be a “jealous person.” It is not only a part of being human, it is a sign that you really actually care about the person. Yet, instead of getting passive aggressive when you feel jealous, try to talk about it and admit that you are feeling jealous – you’ll feel a lot better when you do.
  3. Be sensitive. We also have different, and often very specific things that make us jealous. Just because you think talking on the phone with your ex is no big deal, your boyfriend or partner might think it is a big deal. So, when you do something, make sure to think about it first. Maybe even ask your boyfriend if he thinks something would make him jealous. If it is an issue, talk about it. Ask him questions about why it would make him jealous. You don’t need to get combative – just a civilized conversation will do.
  4. When you do feel uncontrollably and irrationally jealous, try to think about a time when you did something that would make your boyfriend really jealous. This little mental exercise is important because it will level the playing field a little more and make you feel less jealous. You don’t need to tell him what it was, but let it simmer in your mind for a while. Conjuring this memory will definitely dilute your jealous rage.
  5. Never fight fire with fire. Just because your lover did something to make you jealous, it doesn’t mean that you have to do something similar to get back at him. This kind of vindictive behavior will only get you in trouble and you’ll just end up feeling worse about the whole situation. Again, one of the best things you can do is communicating with him about why he did whatever he did. You might just find that you are completely overreacting.

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At the end of the day, a little jealousy might do you good. It is a little reminder that you are alive and have feelings. It might even remind you of how much you love your partner or boyfriend. While you don’t want to let jealously destroy you, there are a number of different ways to manage it, so that you can tame the green beast and live a healthy, well-balanced life.

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About the author

Hello everyone! This is Justin. If you opt for gay facts, gay guides, and some things that would make your gay sex life more wonderful, TheGayFrat.com is the place for you. Checkout my articles and videos in this most awesome site built for the most awesome gays, guys and gals like us :)
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