Sex Toys for Gay Couples Who Don’t like Anal Sex

anal sex, gay anal, gay anal sex, gay sex

Not all gay couples enjoy anal sex. In fact, the majority of gay couples do not engage in anal sex regularly.

Oral sex and hand jobs make up the majority of bedroom play for most gay couples. If gay anal sex isn’t your jam, let me introduce you to some sex toys that might be better suited for your enjoyment.

The Mood Thrill Stroker
This male masturbator is great to use with your partner. The Mood Thrill male Stroker makes masturbating and a good old fashioned hand job out of this world. This penis sleeves offers three different internal textures for varied sensation. Lube him up and slide this on his penis. He’ll love the way the massage beads feel on his cock. This sex toy is waterproof so you can use it in the bath or the shower. This male sex toy is just too fun!

The Butt Banger
If your man is not putting out, you can opt for this excellent male stroker. This male masturbator takes the idea of a “pocket pussy” and puts a gay spin on it. It feels just like anal topping a bottom. You’ll never find a tighter hole for your member. This sex toy was made with gay men in mind and features a beautifully shaped bottom to dip your dick in. This sex toy is equipped with a realistic set of cock and balls that massage the scrotum as you jack off. You can use this toy to masturbate yourself or slide it on your man. You’ll both enjoy wanking with this sex toy.

See also: Why We Love Gay Sex (And You Should, Too!)

Kevin Warhol Mouth Fleshjack
Are you one of those guys who isn’t into anal at all? Like, the thought of it grosses you out? This skips the backdoor option and offers you oral stimulation. The Kevin Warhol Fleshjack aka fleshlight is an amazing male stroker. The entrance for your cock is shaped like porn star Kevin Warhol’s beautiful mouth. This oral stroker feels just like your getting head. Lube him up and then jerk him off with this amazing sex toy.

The Extreme Sling
Although this sex furniture is marketed as bondage gear, it’s actually very liberating. This sex sling is a comfortable solution to giving and getting the best oral sex of your life. A sex swing will allow you to lay down and really take his cock. Open wide! This sex sling is great for really feeding your man some dick. You’ll love how comfortable and versatile the different oral sex positions can be.

There you have it! The best sex toys for gay couples who aren’t into anal. Anal sex isn’t for everybody and there’s nothing wrong with disliking it. Thankfully has a plethora of sex toys that will let you have a ton of fun with any butt stuff. Visit today and use promo code GAYFRAT for a 50% Discount on your sex toy plus Free Discreet Shipping if you spend $20 or more. They have everything from lube to male strokers and even sex swings! You and your next sexual partner will love the amazing male sex toys they have to offer.

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Looking For A Gay Relationship: How To Get A Gay Boyfriend

The truth of the matter is that finding a boyfriend can be difficult. However, finding a gay boyfriend can be even more difficult.

That’s right, this article is for all those guys out there who have gone on dates with guys who say they are gay, but then realize six months into the relationship that they like pussy a little more than dick. It sucks, and no it doesn’t suck dick, if you get what I mean. This is especially the case in college. It’s like you have to turn over rocks to find a gay bf – mostly because a lot of them are not out of the closet, completely. Plus, if you keep telling yourself “I need a gay boyfriend,” it’s not going to happen, because you don’t want to be desperate.

See also: 5 Stages Of A Gay Relationship

Here is how to find a gay boyfriend, and not a boyfriend that pretends to be gay…

Don’t Act Too Desperate

When you are looking for a gay BF, you want to be sure not to sound too desperate. This is critically important, because desperation is not attractive. You don’t want to say, “I need a gay boyfriend” – you want to say, “I want a gay boyfriend.” This is especially the case if you are looking for a quality relationship that will last. This is also really important to do when you are on a date. A truly great guy will be able to smell desperation from a mile away.

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Open Your Heart, But Not Too Wide

Just like you don’t want to be too desperate, you also don’t want to open up right away. Of course, you should be open and you should be honest, but you don’t want to seem too vulnerable. Vulnerability can seem like a weakness if you show it off right away. Of course, later on you can show your vulnerability, but you want to be careful in beginning – at least until you have established a relationship. After that, vulnerability can be really sexy.

Know What You Want

When it comes to getting a really great boyfriend, you need to know what you want. You don’t need a checklist or anything, but you should have a general idea. For instance, if you are looking for a stable guy, you want to find someone with a solid history and someone with ambition. You shouldn’t be having sex with the stoner; you should find the guy that chose his major the first week that he got to college. If you want a guy that likes to spend time and be close with his family, you should ask questions about his relationship with his family. The list really could go on, so you should be prepared to brainstorm and then check these things off your mental list.

Know What You Don’t Want

Just like it is important to know what you do want, you also want to know what you don’t want. If you don’t want a true commitment right away, you should be honest. The last thing you want is to dive headfirst when looking for a gay relationship and then realize that you feel sort of stuck inside of it. Also, if you don’t want a guy that smokes pot, or likes to go out all night, you want to be honest about that too. Not everyone is a homebody, so you may be doing some searching. But who ever said that finding a gay boyfriend is easy?

See also: Various Types Of Gay Guys You’ll Meet On The Scene

Let It Happen Naturally

Of course, if you want to truly find a gay boyfriend – someone that will be true to you – you want to let things take a natural course. This means that you may have to go on multiple dates. The truth of the matter is that if you want to find a gay boyfriend and not just a one night stand, you want to look for someone that can be a friend. During your dates, you really want to ask a lot of questions. By the time you have sex, you should feel like you know the person. If you are looking for a partner, you don’t want to wake up and feel gross after having sex – you want to feel like you learned something new. The key here is to not let lust get in the way, because lust is what will get you in the most trouble.

Go Where The Gays Are

Of course, you also have to go where the gays are if you want to find a true gay boyfriend. Usually, you can go to the lesbian and gay alliance group on your campus, or you can do it the old fashion way: find a gay bar or café near your campus. It is actually really easy to find a gay club, you just have to ask around, or look it up on the internet. Another way to find a gay boyfriend is to download an app. Right now, there are a lot of apps for guys looking to hook up and get serious. You just have to read through the profiles. If the profile says that the guy is looking for something casual or temporary, you want to move on. You certainly don’t want to be swayed just because the guy is hot.

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The Sexy Spring Break: Tips To Make Your Break Bro-Tastic

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‘Sup Pledges! It’s that time of year and you deserve a break. Got plans for this year’s spring break? You bet your balls you do! Whether you’re getting some sun in Cancun or maxin’ and relaxin’ at home, I’ve got some tips to make your break bro-tastic.

Hit and Run in Some Place Fun

Alright, there’s no better time to have a quickie in a new locale. Maybe you’ve found yourself in a dark parking lot, a bathroom stall, under a boardwalk, under a bridge, under the moon, under anything really. Be sure to bring a friend and make the most of the experience. You can’t beat having sex in a public place and being a bit voyeuristic. If you haven’t done it before, use this spring break to cross it off of your bucket list.

See alsoSome Things You Need To Know About Gay Cruising

spring break
Flag Swimsuit Brief

Bring a Friend

Let’s face it, friends with benefits are the best friends. Be sure to invite your favorite along for the vacation. Choose the right guy, you don’t want a needy-Nick all up in your business for a week. Establish the terms before the trip and make sure you’re on the same page. This way, if you don’t score a guy one night you’ll always have a fall back. It sounds cold, but I’m being real. You’ll want to have your cake and eat it too.

Grab Some Gear

If you’re going to go swimming, you’re most definitely going to need a hot, new swimsuit. Here’s my favorite – Flag Swimsuit Brief. America, the beautiful – amiright? Suit up and lure those boys your way. No one’s gonna be able to resist your cute little butt in a pair like this.

Perfect Your Playlist

Jammy-jams! Crank that noise. Whether you’re driving to the beach or taking it easy poolside, you’ll want to stock your phone with all of the best party anthems. Setting the tone for your day or night is easy. Popular dance hits and frat favorites are a must. Anything with a solid beat will do. The sexier the better! Get your bros going wild with the perfect playlist. Oh, and you if you have some time, go ahead and dance to them in front of the mirror. You’re going to want to look your best out there. Bring them boys to the yard!

See also: First Time Fisting

Safari Survival Kit, condom, condoms
Safari Survival Kit

Stock Essentials

So, you’re going to be catching a lot of dicks this spring break. Trust me! You’ll want to be prepared. That means packing a stockpile of condoms and lube. Here’s a great collection you can share with your bros – Safari Survival Kit. Always remember to play safe! Further, you’re gonna want to keep a little lube around. With all the partying and mischief you’re getting into you might not have time to make it to your bedroom. This is a smaller size bottle that will fit in your pocket – A&E Anal Lube 1 oz. Brilliant, I know.

There you have it my frat bros! Some tips and tricks to keep it #SexyAF this spring break. No need to leave your frat house or campus, you can exercise these tips anywhere! I hope you have all the fun this SB! Party safely my pledges!

Attention gay frats! Here’s something that would make your spring break even more bro-tastic.

Shop for your favorite gay sex toys at and at checkout, use the special offer code GAYFRAT and enjoy 50% OFF on almost any single item on site plus, if you spend $20 or more, you’ll get Free Discreet Shipping on your entire order!

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Watching Gay Porn Videos: Good or Bad?

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A lot of people will tell you that masturbating is bad. Some will say that you will burn in hell or that you’ll grow hair on your palms. If those people knew that I like to masturbate to guys ramming me in the asshole as sweat soaks the bed, they would probably tell me that I am going to be an eternally burning hairball in the lowest pits of hell. The truth is that masturbation isn’t bad – nor is watching gay porn. When it comes down to it, gay porn videos can actually enhance the masturbatory experience.

Read related article: The Best Gay Sex Positions

I can understand why some people may think that watching porn videos is bad – there is a lot of raunchy stuff in some of those videos. In some of those videos, you are going to see people getting fucked in the asshole with giant dildos – really giant dildos. As a result, you are going to see lots of liquids coming out from multiple orifices. Hell, I’ve seen one video where two guys were on a seesaw – every time one guy came down, he would be reamed with a giant dildo. For this reason, I can see why people would think that gay porn videos were bad.

There is also the notion that gay porn can change people’s views on sex. Some people say that porn has perverted the way they have sex in real life – expectations are higher and as a result they feel let down when the experience doesn’t meet their fantasy. Other people, though, feel like watching porn videos can make them lust after an imaginary ideal – to the point where real guys don’t even seem desirable. Of course, these are extreme views – not all guys feel this way when they watch gay porn.

Also, there is an issue of moderation. Everything in life must be done in moderation, or else it can get a little extreme and life will seem too out of control. For instance, you can’t go out night after night dancing – as amazing as that sounds – eventually you will crash. This is why watching gay porn must be done in moderation. You don’t need to watch gay porn videos every single day – every couple of days will probably be fine and healthy. Watching them every day or multiple times a day may start to get unhealthy.

Moreover, stretching out your periods of watching gay porn can be great too, because it can make it fresh and new and exciting. It can actually get pretty boring and depressing to watch gay porn every single day. If you watch once, twice or even three times a week, it can give you something to look forward to at the end of the day. It’s kind of like when you don’t have sex for a long time and then have sex – your orgasm is more intense and the overall feeling of sex is more exciting and more erotic.

Whenever I masturbate to gay porn, I always set limits for myself. I always tell myself when I can and can’t watch gay porn videos. When it comes down to it, limits are important – next to doing things in moderation, giving yourself limitations can allow you to live a more organized and well balanced lifestyle. In fact, if you don’t give yourself limits, moderation will be impossible. There is also a good chance that you will turn into a porn video addict, which is never a good thing. Porn addition is a real affliction, but if you have clear guidelines for how you watch porn, your porn watching won’t turn into a bad habit.

Read related article: How To Talk Dirty To Your Boyfriend 

In the end, watching gay porn is not a bad thing – just like masturbation is not a bad thing…

All you have to remember is that porn is a great tool to use when masturbating, but it is not to be used as stuffing to fill the hole in your heart or soul – get a therapist if you want to fix your problems. When it comes down to it, porn is fun if you do it in moderation and with some limits in place – or else it will either be boring or it will take over your life, which is something you definitely don’t want.

Looking for the best gay sex toys online? Then is the best online store for you. But wait! When you do buy your sex toys at Adam Male make sure to use the coupon code GAYFRAT at checkout to get 50% OFF on almost any single item plus Free Discreet Shipping, when you spend $20 or more!

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Gay Hookups Dos and Don’ts

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In the world of gay hookups, there are some definitive dos and don’ts. Of course, this article is for all those guys out there that are on the serious dating scene and are hooking up on a nightly basis. Don’t worry, no one is judging – there is a good chance that you are on a path to exploring who you are sexually. The only thing is that you need to play your cards right – if you don’t, not only can you go home empty handed, but you may start to develop a reputation. The last thing you want is to poison your own well.

Read related article: Best Gay Sex Toys

Here are some basic gay hookup dos and don’ts…

Don’t come off like a jerk and pretend like you are someone else. This is a gay hookup cardinal sin. If you act like you are all that and just can’t walk the walk, it will be embarrassing for you. Also, don’t make things up, lie or exaggerate. Not one person likes a guy who exaggerates and lies – people can see right through you.

Do be yourself. When it comes to gay hookups, you always want to be yourself. If you are quirky, be quirky. If you have a weird talent, you should show that talent off. Many gay guys don’t realize that being themselves – no matter how awkward and weird – is actually a turn on.

Don’t set your sights too high. Another important gay hook up don’t is to not have lofty expectations. You know when you get really hungry and all you want is something juicy and delicious to eat – you create this meal in your mind and you convince yourself that it is going to be the greatest thing you ever tasted – but then you go the restaurant and the meal is just sort of eh, whatever. Well, this is what it is sort of like with gay hook ups – you just have to go with the flow and not build it up too much in your mind.

Do have a great time. Too many guys go into a gay hook up scenario with the idea that they will have a bad time – kind of like the opposite of setting your sights and expectations too high. This is why you want to focus on having a good time. It’s easy to be negative, so you have to work hard at having a great time – you may even want to pretend. Eventually you will convince yourself. If the date is bad, at least you had fun and didn’t waste your time.

Don’t be shy about what you want. It’s not cute to be shy about what you want. Gay hook ups are way more fun when a guy knows exactly what he wants and knows how to get it. Open communication will be important, because it will let your date know how you expect to be treated and you will earn more respect.

Do be open. There is a good chance that you will be in a situation where a guy will be telling you what he likes in bed. It is gay hookup 101 to listen and to be open to everything he has to say. If you cut him off in the middle of saying something you think is out of control, you will look close-minded and the entire mood will be ruined. If he does say something you don’t like, you should talk about it and find someplace to meet in the middle. There is a chance you might like it.

Read related article: The Best Gay Sex Positions

In the end, gay hook ups can be fun, but only if you work your hardest to avoid all the above don’ts. If you stick to the dos, a gay hook up can be an amazing, strange experience that you’ll wake up and appreciate. Even if the gay hook up is a one night stand, at least you can tell yourself that you tried. Sure, some guys can be jerks, but for every jerk, there is an amazing guy who will be great in bed, which will make the whole journey worth it!

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Secrets of Anal Sex

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Anal sex is one of those things that is talked about, but in the end no one really knows what they are talking about. It’s not like the butthole is a big secret – it isn’t – but people like to create such a mystery surrounding anal sex that it becomes a big mystery. In this article, I want to reveal some of the biggest secrets of anal sex, so that you can rest a little easier. First and foremost, though, you have to understand that the butthole isn’t that complicated, so you don’t have to fear the butthole.

Read related article: The Best Gay Sex Positions

Here are some of the biggest secrets of anal sex…

1. Understand how the anus works and you’ll pretty much know how to figure out how the whole anal sex thing works. Basically, the anus is the end of a long channel that stars in your mouth and ends at your butthole – yes, it is where poop comes out. The anus only has so much insertable area and inside the anus, if you’re a man, is a little prostate gland that when stimulated, provides erotic pleasure – hence the reason why anal sex feels so damn good.

anal sex, good hygiene, anal sex techniques, anal sex experience, secrets of anal sex2. Cleaning out your butthole is vital before anal sex. Good hygiene is incredibly important before anal sex. Because the anus is covered in fecal germs – sorry to get completely gross – you want to wash that bad boy real good. If you want to make the anal sex experience more enjoyable, you want to get rid of all the nasties in and around the hair. When you are washing out the butthole, try to really get in there and scrub.

3. Take a big shit before anal sex. Sorry to get gross – again – but when you are talking about anal sex, it is hard to not get a little gross. Because the butthole is where poop comes out of, it is also where poop can get stuck. The last thing you want is to be in bed with a guy and have an accident while he is pounding away at your backdoor. So, before anal sex, simply make a bowel movement to clean out the chamber. Don’t worry, its okay to have dinner – the chamber won’t be full again for another six or so hours.

4. Practice your handjob, blowjob and anal sex techniques and you will eventually get better at what you do. When you first start out in the world of anal sex, you won’t necessarily be the best in bed. It can be awkward at first – with plenty of fumbling. Don’t worry – the more you have sex and the more you perfect your anal sex techniques, the better you will be.

5. Anal sex is not scary. This is perhaps one of the biggest secrets of anal sex. Once you do it, you’ll wonder what all the fuss is about. Trust me, anal sex is fun and – if done right – the anal sex experience can make you really fulfilled; both physically and emotionally.

Read related article: The Secrets of Anal Sex

Lastly, there aren’t really any secrets of sex – mostly myths and other misconceptions. However, if   you want to have a fun and engaging anal sex experience, you want to make sure to maintain good hygiene and make sure you anus is always sparkling clean. In the end, you never know whom you’ll take home.

Use the coupon code GAYFRAT at checkout to get 50% OFF on almost any single item plus if you spend $20 or more, you’ll get Free Discreet Shipping on your entire order!

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The Top 5 Things First-Timers Should Know About Anal Sex

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Getting ready for anal sex is a little bit like getting ready to drive a car for the first time. The only difference is that there is no training school for anal sex. Also, the only instructor you’ll have teaching you about anal sex is the first guy you’ll be having anal sex with. This is the reason why it can be important to have some ideas about what to expect, because the last thing you want when it comes to anal sex is to be pleasantly surprised.

Read related article: The Secrets of Anal Sex

Here are the top five things first-timers should know about anal sex…

1. It might hurt. If you think about it, the butthole is only so wide and it only opens for special occasions – a special occasion you don’t want happening in bed. So, you have to find a way to make yourself more relaxed. The more open you are – literally open – the better it will feel. However, you can expect some discomfort regardless.

2. You will want to use lube. Lube will be your best friend as a gay man figuring out anal sex for the first time. Lube will help you slip in and out. When it comes to lube, you want to probably use a silicone lubricant, because it will last a long time and it is condom safe. You do not want to use petroleum lubricant, because that can mess with the condom.

3. You may realize that you like being on top rather than the bottom. One thing that a lot of gay men realize when they are getting pounded in the ass is that they would much rather be the one doing the pounding. If this is the case, you want to speak up and make your desires known.

4. Take a shower before you have anal sex. Anything regarding the great brown starfish should involve cleanliness, so make sure that you take a shower. You really want to scrub deep inside your asshole. If you can, take a big shit too. It can help to be clean, but also empty too.

5. It is going to feel good – really good. Besides the pain, anal sex is going to feel really good. So, you want to take a deep breath and let that cock gently slide inside you. As he is going for it and really getting into the groove, you should try and roll with the motions in the ocean. This should help alleviate your nervousness and make your first anal sex experience a good one.

Read related article: Why Anal Sex Kits Rule

In the end, anal sex can be a wild ride, especially for your first time around. All you need to know, though, is that the first time will be a little discomforting, but if you keep your butthole spotless and make sure to slather his cock and your asshole with lube, you’ll be fine. It is anal sex after all – not heart surgery.

Use the coupon code GAYFRAT at checkout to get 50% OFF on almost any single item plus if you spend $20 or more, you’ll get Free Discreet Shipping on your entire order!

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Gay Dating Tips and Tricks

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The gay dating circuit can seem like a jungle and every time you get in the water, you can either be eaten alive by alligators or you can make it out alive. In the world of gay dating, there are some obvious do’s and don’t. Plus, your objectives should always evolve depending on whether you simply want to get laid or if you actually want to have a companion.

Read related article: Interracial Dating In the Gay World

Here are some gay dating tips and tricks you need to know…

1. Stay away from baggage. Dating a guy with baggage will never be any fun. There are many ways to tell if a guy has baggage or not. For one, you can ask him where he works. If he tells you that he doesn’t have a job, you probably want to move on, because a guy without a job is not someone that you should be wasting your time with. Plus, anyone without a job is probably a little crazy.

2. Always clean up before a date. You never want to go on a date if you haven’t taken a shower and thoroughly cleaned your asshole. You also want to brush your teeth and clean your pits. The last thing you want is to take a guy home and then be in that awkward situation where he wants to eat your asshole, but you have to keep pushing him away. If you cleaned your asshole before, you can let him eat away – bring on the dessert!

3. Never assume he is paying. Just because a guy asks you out, you never want to assume that he is paying for the meal. It will just present one of those awkward situations where you get the bill and you are both staring at it in silence. The most diplomatic thing to do is to grab the bill first. With this swift move of confidence, you’ll have him swooping in with his credit card too.

4. Never have more than one drink on the first date and never have less than four on your third date. This is a little rule I have created for myself that works wonderfully in the gay dating community. I only have one drink on my first date, because I’ll be lubricated enough to chat and be social, but not lubricated enough to fuck and give myself away too soon. With four drinks on the third date – who gives a fuck.

5. Bring a condom. In the gay dating world, it is crazy if you venture out without a condom. This is a little bit like entering a radioactive zone without a mask. Who knows if you’ll need it – but you want to keep a condom or two on you just in case. You don’t want to be in one of those situations where you are fooling around, but have to run ten blocks away to get a condom. By the time you get back, he’ll probably have fallen asleep.

Read related article: How To Find A Date In The Gay World

In the end, gay dating can be fun – provided that you have all the right moves gay dating tricks. Just make sure to know: stay away from emotional baggage, clean your butthole, always whip yours out first (your credit card), never have more than one drink on the first date and always bring a condom. With these wise words, you’ll have a great time.

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5 Tips On How To Be A Happy Bottom

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Being a bottom can sometimes feel like you are a piece of future – a piece of furniture that continually gets pounded in the ass. After a while, this can get really tiring. While he is up there having the time of his life, you are down there like a fallen tree trunk sweating and hoping the experience ends soon. However, there are many ways to make the experience of being a bottom more exciting.

Read related article: Being A Bottom

Here are five tips on how to be a happy bottom…

1. Find a way to pleasure yourself. Being a bottom is perfect, because while his cock is in your ass, your cock is just flopping around. So, you may want to think about jacking yourself off or giving your self a little pleasure while he is doing his thing on top of you.

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2. Use a cock sleeve. There are tons of different cock sleeves and sheathes that you can use while he is fucking you from behind. You can think of it like a three-way conga line without the third person. Instead of having your cock flap around in the wind, you could be jacking yourself off with a pleasure sleeve until you cum too.

3. Switch up your positions. Most gay couples think the bottom has to be on the bottom and the top has to be on the top – that’s basic gay physics, right? Well, this is actually wrong. Just because you are a “bottom” it doesn’t mean you have to physically be on the bottom. You can actually switch into a cowboy-like position and mix it up.

4. You rule the show. Another misconception is that bottoms are the less dominant ones, but this is a big fat myth. The truth is that the bottom can speak up whenever he wants. If you are sick of him pounding away up there, you can always tell him to slow down. If you want him to speed up, just tell him so. Sometimes you just have to open your mouth and ask for what you want.

5. Use lots of lube. Lubrication is critical as a bottom. Specifically, you want to use silicone lubricant, because this will feel the best and the lubricating power will last the longest. You can think of his cock like a piston and your asshole like an engine – with a little oil, the whole system will work more efficiently.

Read related article: Tips For A Successful Gay Relationship

Lastly, the bottom is a fundamental part of the sexual equation – kind of like the common denominator. Without the bottom, the whole sexual experience wouldn’t be possible, so it’s okay to demand satisfaction. At least Mick Jagger got something right. In the end, the key to being a happy bottom is to figure out what makes you comfortable and then go for it.

Get 50% OFF on almost any single item plus Free Discreet Shipping, if you spend $20 or more with coupon code GAYFRAT!

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5 Stages Of A Gay Relationship

5 Stages Of A Gay Relationship

Ah, the gay relationship – the great, gay unicorn that only prances in your life once or twice until you start thinking to yourself: “What am I doing!?” It is true, gay relationships seem ridiculous – at least when you are young and there are so many delicious options. Yet, once and a while you might meet a guy and say: “Hey, I’d like to spend everyday with this person.” When it happens, it really happens and there is no way of stopping it – kind of like a runaway train. At first a week goes by, and then a few months – and months turn into a year, and then two years, and five, and six, and so on. Sometimes it happens – sometimes – and it always seems that there are clearly defined stages of every part of the relationship, because gay couples never really expect their relationships to last – especially in the years, especially for a lifetime. But, you have to admit, it is beautiful when it does happens.

Read related article: Tips For A Successful Gay Relationship

Here are the five stages of a gay relationship…

  1. The first year of a gay relationship is like realizing you might be trapped in an elevator with a complete stranger and there is literally no way out. During the first year of the relationship you are trying to figure out how it all works out. You fuck a lot – hoping that somewhere in all the hot, passionate, sweaty sex that there will be an answer. However, after endless fucking, you find nothing – just more questions. But as this happens, you slowly start becoming a couple – a singular unit. You start finishing each other’s sentences. Like zygotes separated at inception you start to see each other in each other’s face. Then you start becoming vulnerable and showing each other everything – the bad and the good. This might just last.
  2. The second year is realizing that you’ve known the answer for months: you are in love and it’s time to make a home together. Who will wear the apron? Who cares, maybe the both of you. You become a power couple. Your shared love and income takes over. You are an unstoppable duo. Nothing is too challenging. Yet, through all this power couple shit, you start to realize that you have been fucking less and now you only “make love” once or twice a week. The honeymoon phase is over and you have no idea how long it’s been since it ended. It’s like waking up in the movie theater and realizing that everyone is gone and the credits are rolling. But just as you realize you’ve missed the ending, you don’t care, because you are happy it’s just you two alone, in the theater – just you two against the whole wide crazy world.
  3. Then the terrible third year comes along. It’s a testy one. You spend many nights on the couch looking at the dark trees swaying outside the window wondering where it all went wrong – did it go wrong? But as you realize this, you realize that maybe your relationship needs a change. Three years is a long time. Enough to grow a mustache over and over again until you realize you aren’t the mustache type. Then you realize you need to be alone for a while. You spend a few weeks apart, but then realize you were meant to be together. You realize that all you were missing is a sense of independence. The co-dependence has gotten to you and your relationship. So, you agree to get back together – only on the terms that “you can be your own people.” Sure, maybe you’ve sucked a few dicks while he was away, but his dick will always taste the sweetest.
  4. When you hit year four, five, six, seven – it’s all the same, but vastly different. You have new experiences, but you are connected with the soul at this point. Even when you are a thousand miles away, your souls are still firmly attached. You know that he will be waiting whenever you come home from work. You know that he will always be there for you. You know that you’ve been through it all. You have the perfect combination of being dependent on each other combined with being able to tell each other that you need a space. You know that when you wake up, his face will be the first thing you see and just imagining that it isn’t is enough to make you sick or cry.
  5. During year 10 and beyond – all the way up to year 20 – you have reached a sense that you have made it to the end of the universe – the very end – the unimaginably distant end of the universe. However, instead of turning back, you are happy to simply float there – holding hands in the pitch blackness of everything. You can imagine the way his lips feel even when he is not there – like feeling that wobbling feeling a few hours after you get off a boat. It’s not bliss – it’s more than bliss. It’s something experienced by only the lucky few. But you feel more than lucky – you feel a feeling that you’ve never felt before: a combination of luck and bliss.

Read related article: Essentials For A Long Distance Gay Relationship

When it comes down to it, you’ll be lucky to find a long-term relationship – one that lasts through the ages. However, when it does come along, you might want to seize it. Maybe the key to romantic happiness is to not scoff at opportunities, but to embrace them.

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