How To Have Tons Of Sex In Your Dorm And Not Get Caught

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You’re in college; you’re hot and ready to have the time of your life. You’re eager to screw all those hot dudes around campus. That guy you keep seeing eyeing your package at the gym, that hot nerd at the library who nibbles his pencil when you walk by, that footballer who has an ass that just don’t stop—what do all of these guys need? A good dicking down from you my friend. With all those eager men out there, you want to bury your bone in as many dudes as possible, right? There’s just one thing: you live in a dorm with a roommate. Can you say major cockblock? I know you moved out and thought that you’d be hooking up with guys left and right now that you’re mom and dad aren’t around. But, the reality is hooking up with a dude in a dorm is hard. I’ve got some expert tips (trust, I get dick like a pro) to help you make the most of a sticky situation.

First things first, are you out?

Have you come out to your roommate or other guys in your dorm? I’m not judging either way, but there are some aspects to being out that make gay sex easier. If you’re out to your roommate you won’t have to do any explaining if you accidentally get caught boning a guy. He’ll get it and it might be awkward, but it will lessen the shock. I recommend you coming out to your roomie if you feel comfortable enough. You never know, he might be bi-curious. College is the time to experiment! If you haven’t come out yet, that’s okay. You can always just use the friend excuse. Say to your roommate, “This is my friend from Chemistry. We’ve got an exam to study for. Can we have the room for about an hour?” That’ll get the room all freed up for you. Let’s just hope your roommate doesn’t walk in on you two doing the dirty.

See also: How to Kiss a Gay Guy: Gay Kissing Advice

Timing is everything… Schedule some sexy time!

I know us gays like to have spontaneous sex, who doesn’t actually? It’s always way more fun to meet a random guy and hookup. But, if you have the option, scheduling with your roommate actually works out well. Let’s say you find a dude that want to bang your brains out later in the afternoon. Just see if you can arrange to have the dorm room all to yourself. You can be as vague or specific as you want, depending on how close you are with your roomie. Option 1: “I have a friend coming over later. Do you mind if I have the room for a little bit this afternoon?” Option 2: “This guy wants to bang my brains out. I want my brains banged out. Don’t you want me to be happy? Please don’t be around this afternoon.” Okay, so I admit that second option was more of a joke, but you get the point?

Scheduling isn’t just a matter of working this out in advance. It’s a good idea to know your roommate’s class schedule. You can duck into your room while he’s in class and get your ass reamed. He’ll never be the wiser. I do suggest you have a code tho. Which brings me to my next tip.

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All men should have a code.

This one is as old a trick as any. Dorm rooms and other shared spaces are finders-keepers and you and your roommate should understand this. It’s sort of a first-come-first-serve thing. If you have got a hot date and you get that hunk of man meat back to your dorm and your roommate’s not there. You better take advantage. I hang a sock on the outside door handle to let my roommate know I’m gagging on some cock or getting dick, in general. If he sees the sock on the handle, he should know the room is off limits. Be courteous and quick. You don’t want to keep your pal locked out all night. Also, respect his time if you come home to see a sock on the door. He respected your space, now you have to do the same.

See also: Various Types Of Gay Guys You’ll Meet On The Scene

Finally, sneaking as a last resort

If you can avoid bringing a dude over while your roommate’s around you absolutely should. No one wants to hear you getting screwed while their trying to sleep. But, sometime you get a bit drink-y and you just need to fuck. Here’s the best way to sneak in and get a quickie. Take off as much of your clothing in the hall outside your dorm room as possible. If no one is around, strip naked. Bundle your clothes up and quietly open the door. If you’re roommate’s asleep, tiptoe over to the bed and don’t you dare laugh or talk. Gingerly climb into bed and spoon with your dude. No fancy doggy style or raunchy sex is allowed. You’ve got to keep quiet. Unwrap the condom(s) under the blanket and sheets to help muffle any sounds. If you absolutely need lube, be sure to use a lube with a pump, so it won’t make any squirting noises (this is my fav – Swiss Navy Waterbased Lube). Be quick and QUIET. No dirty talk or moaning. No matter how good it feels, do your best to not wake your roommate. You came a ton and you’re hearts begin to normalize. Now, don’t let that dude fall asleep. Kick him out. You can catch up later. Never let a guy stay the night. Dorm rooms are small enough; you don’t need another body taking up space in the morning.

Those are my top tips for hooking up in a dorm room. We all want tons of college sex!

I feel ya. Just be sure to communicate with your roommate and only sneak a guy in while your roommate is asleep, once or twice. It’s not cool. It’s hard enough finding the right time and place to hook up with guys. But, as gay men we have a couple of other obstacles to complicate the situation. I hope I’ve helped you figure out the best way to get your dick wet. Oh and did I mention, you can use these tips for jerking off. Yeah! You can schedule some alone time with your favorite giant dildo or to use your beloved stroker. Just make sure to hide your sex toys from your roomie. You don’t want him getting any ideas 😉 Onward and upward fratters!

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Secrets of Anal Sex

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Anal sex is one of those things that is talked about, but in the end no one really knows what they are talking about. It’s not like the butthole is a big secret – it isn’t – but people like to create such a mystery surrounding anal sex that it becomes a big mystery. In this article, I want to reveal some of the biggest secrets of anal sex, so that you can rest a little easier. First and foremost, though, you have to understand that the butthole isn’t that complicated, so you don’t have to fear the butthole.

Read related article: The Best Gay Sex Positions

Here are some of the biggest secrets of anal sex…

1. Understand how the anus works and you’ll pretty much know how to figure out how the whole anal sex thing works. Basically, the anus is the end of a long channel that stars in your mouth and ends at your butthole – yes, it is where poop comes out. The anus only has so much insertable area and inside the anus, if you’re a man, is a little prostate gland that when stimulated, provides erotic pleasure – hence the reason why anal sex feels so damn good.

anal sex, good hygiene, anal sex techniques, anal sex experience, secrets of anal sex2. Cleaning out your butthole is vital before anal sex. Good hygiene is incredibly important before anal sex. Because the anus is covered in fecal germs – sorry to get completely gross – you want to wash that bad boy real good. If you want to make the anal sex experience more enjoyable, you want to get rid of all the nasties in and around the hair. When you are washing out the butthole, try to really get in there and scrub.

3. Take a big shit before anal sex. Sorry to get gross – again – but when you are talking about anal sex, it is hard to not get a little gross. Because the butthole is where poop comes out of, it is also where poop can get stuck. The last thing you want is to be in bed with a guy and have an accident while he is pounding away at your backdoor. So, before anal sex, simply make a bowel movement to clean out the chamber. Don’t worry, its okay to have dinner – the chamber won’t be full again for another six or so hours.

4. Practice your handjob, blowjob and anal sex techniques and you will eventually get better at what you do. When you first start out in the world of anal sex, you won’t necessarily be the best in bed. It can be awkward at first – with plenty of fumbling. Don’t worry – the more you have sex and the more you perfect your anal sex techniques, the better you will be.

5. Anal sex is not scary. This is perhaps one of the biggest secrets of anal sex. Once you do it, you’ll wonder what all the fuss is about. Trust me, anal sex is fun and – if done right – the anal sex experience can make you really fulfilled; both physically and emotionally.

Read related article: The Secrets of Anal Sex

Lastly, there aren’t really any secrets of sex – mostly myths and other misconceptions. However, if   you want to have a fun and engaging anal sex experience, you want to make sure to maintain good hygiene and make sure you anus is always sparkling clean. In the end, you never know whom you’ll take home.

Use the coupon code GAYFRAT at checkout to get 50% OFF on almost any single item plus if you spend $20 or more, you’ll get Free Discreet Shipping on your entire order!

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The Top 5 Things First-Timers Should Know About Anal Sex

anal sex, gay men, first-timers, getting ready for anal sex

Getting ready for anal sex is a little bit like getting ready to drive a car for the first time. The only difference is that there is no training school for anal sex. Also, the only instructor you’ll have teaching you about anal sex is the first guy you’ll be having anal sex with. This is the reason why it can be important to have some ideas about what to expect, because the last thing you want when it comes to anal sex is to be pleasantly surprised.

Read related article: The Secrets of Anal Sex

Here are the top five things first-timers should know about anal sex…

1. It might hurt. If you think about it, the butthole is only so wide and it only opens for special occasions – a special occasion you don’t want happening in bed. So, you have to find a way to make yourself more relaxed. The more open you are – literally open – the better it will feel. However, you can expect some discomfort regardless.

2. You will want to use lube. Lube will be your best friend as a gay man figuring out anal sex for the first time. Lube will help you slip in and out. When it comes to lube, you want to probably use a silicone lubricant, because it will last a long time and it is condom safe. You do not want to use petroleum lubricant, because that can mess with the condom.

3. You may realize that you like being on top rather than the bottom. One thing that a lot of gay men realize when they are getting pounded in the ass is that they would much rather be the one doing the pounding. If this is the case, you want to speak up and make your desires known.

4. Take a shower before you have anal sex. Anything regarding the great brown starfish should involve cleanliness, so make sure that you take a shower. You really want to scrub deep inside your asshole. If you can, take a big shit too. It can help to be clean, but also empty too.

5. It is going to feel good – really good. Besides the pain, anal sex is going to feel really good. So, you want to take a deep breath and let that cock gently slide inside you. As he is going for it and really getting into the groove, you should try and roll with the motions in the ocean. This should help alleviate your nervousness and make your first anal sex experience a good one.

Read related article: Why Anal Sex Kits Rule

In the end, anal sex can be a wild ride, especially for your first time around. All you need to know, though, is that the first time will be a little discomforting, but if you keep your butthole spotless and make sure to slather his cock and your asshole with lube, you’ll be fine. It is anal sex after all – not heart surgery.

Use the coupon code GAYFRAT at checkout to get 50% OFF on almost any single item plus if you spend $20 or more, you’ll get Free Discreet Shipping on your entire order!

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Gay Dating Tips and Tricks

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The gay dating circuit can seem like a jungle and every time you get in the water, you can either be eaten alive by alligators or you can make it out alive. In the world of gay dating, there are some obvious do’s and don’t. Plus, your objectives should always evolve depending on whether you simply want to get laid or if you actually want to have a companion.

Read related article: Interracial Dating In the Gay World

Here are some gay dating tips and tricks you need to know…

1. Stay away from baggage. Dating a guy with baggage will never be any fun. There are many ways to tell if a guy has baggage or not. For one, you can ask him where he works. If he tells you that he doesn’t have a job, you probably want to move on, because a guy without a job is not someone that you should be wasting your time with. Plus, anyone without a job is probably a little crazy.

2. Always clean up before a date. You never want to go on a date if you haven’t taken a shower and thoroughly cleaned your asshole. You also want to brush your teeth and clean your pits. The last thing you want is to take a guy home and then be in that awkward situation where he wants to eat your asshole, but you have to keep pushing him away. If you cleaned your asshole before, you can let him eat away – bring on the dessert!

3. Never assume he is paying. Just because a guy asks you out, you never want to assume that he is paying for the meal. It will just present one of those awkward situations where you get the bill and you are both staring at it in silence. The most diplomatic thing to do is to grab the bill first. With this swift move of confidence, you’ll have him swooping in with his credit card too.

4. Never have more than one drink on the first date and never have less than four on your third date. This is a little rule I have created for myself that works wonderfully in the gay dating community. I only have one drink on my first date, because I’ll be lubricated enough to chat and be social, but not lubricated enough to fuck and give myself away too soon. With four drinks on the third date – who gives a fuck.

5. Bring a condom. In the gay dating world, it is crazy if you venture out without a condom. This is a little bit like entering a radioactive zone without a mask. Who knows if you’ll need it – but you want to keep a condom or two on you just in case. You don’t want to be in one of those situations where you are fooling around, but have to run ten blocks away to get a condom. By the time you get back, he’ll probably have fallen asleep.

Read related article: How To Find A Date In The Gay World

In the end, gay dating can be fun – provided that you have all the right moves gay dating tricks. Just make sure to know: stay away from emotional baggage, clean your butthole, always whip yours out first (your credit card), never have more than one drink on the first date and always bring a condom. With these wise words, you’ll have a great time.

Don’t forget to use coupon code GAYFRAT  at AdamMale.com checkout to get 50% OFF on almost ANY item plus, if you spend $20 or more, get FREE Shipping on your entire order!

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5 Tips On How To Be A Happy Bottom

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Being a bottom can sometimes feel like you are a piece of future – a piece of furniture that continually gets pounded in the ass. After a while, this can get really tiring. While he is up there having the time of his life, you are down there like a fallen tree trunk sweating and hoping the experience ends soon. However, there are many ways to make the experience of being a bottom more exciting.

Read related article: Being A Bottom

Here are five tips on how to be a happy bottom…

1. Find a way to pleasure yourself. Being a bottom is perfect, because while his cock is in your ass, your cock is just flopping around. So, you may want to think about jacking yourself off or giving your self a little pleasure while he is doing his thing on top of you.

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2. Use a cock sleeve. There are tons of different cock sleeves and sheathes that you can use while he is fucking you from behind. You can think of it like a three-way conga line without the third person. Instead of having your cock flap around in the wind, you could be jacking yourself off with a pleasure sleeve until you cum too.

3. Switch up your positions. Most gay couples think the bottom has to be on the bottom and the top has to be on the top – that’s basic gay physics, right? Well, this is actually wrong. Just because you are a “bottom” it doesn’t mean you have to physically be on the bottom. You can actually switch into a cowboy-like position and mix it up.

4. You rule the show. Another misconception is that bottoms are the less dominant ones, but this is a big fat myth. The truth is that the bottom can speak up whenever he wants. If you are sick of him pounding away up there, you can always tell him to slow down. If you want him to speed up, just tell him so. Sometimes you just have to open your mouth and ask for what you want.

5. Use lots of lube. Lubrication is critical as a bottom. Specifically, you want to use silicone lubricant, because this will feel the best and the lubricating power will last the longest. You can think of his cock like a piston and your asshole like an engine – with a little oil, the whole system will work more efficiently.

Read related article: Tips For A Successful Gay Relationship

Lastly, the bottom is a fundamental part of the sexual equation – kind of like the common denominator. Without the bottom, the whole sexual experience wouldn’t be possible, so it’s okay to demand satisfaction. At least Mick Jagger got something right. In the end, the key to being a happy bottom is to figure out what makes you comfortable and then go for it.

Get 50% OFF on almost any single item plus Free Discreet Shipping, if you spend $20 or more with AdamMale.com coupon code GAYFRAT!

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What To Do When You Have A Crush On Your Straight Roommate

What To Do When You Have A Crush On Your Straight Roommate

Okay, so you’re about to start another year of college – la di da – and you are going to the campus a few weeks early to make sure everything is set up in your new apartment or dorm room.  You think: great, I’ll end up with another boring roommate and another 8 months of feeling really awkward going to sleep at night – another eight months of wondering if your new roommate is afraid of homosexuals – eight months of someone who doesn’t really speak English and has nothing in common with you. But just as you are about to confirm all your anticipations about your new roommate, it hits you: your new roommate is ridiculously hot and really nice. You then think to yourself: this could either turn out really badly, or, it could be the gay gods smiling down from heaven with their chiseled biceps and abs. The only problem: you don’t know if he is gay or not. He could be really cool until you come on to him. Should you? So many questions!

Read related article: When Your Straight Friend Comes Out To You

Here is what to do when you have a crush on your straight roommate…

  • You come on to him and see what happens. This could go one of two ways: he gets really freaked, change rooms, and you never see him again, or, he is actually into it. Even if you don’t know if he’s gay, slowly coming on to him one night will confirm whether or not he is. Even if he isn’t gay, he might just be into experimenting. However, you want to be careful, because you don’t want to overstep your boundaries and lose a good friend. Yet, if you have nothing to lose, go for it. All that will probably happen – if he isn’t into it – is that he’ll tell you he isn’t gay and you can put your little crush to rest.
  • Just kiss him – what the hell, why not. This can be incredibly disastrous. You might get slapped in the face, but that could be a good thing, because he might be surprised and then keep kissing you. However, he might hit you and mean it. So, make sure to only make this move if you really pick up the signals. If you tune in and can’t pick up on any vibrations, you should probably keep your tongue in your mouth.
  • Ask him. This is by far the most polite way to ask if he’s gay. If your roommate doesn’t flat out come on to you, it can be hard to know unless you work up the bravery to ask. The worst that can happen is that he’ll say no. The best thing that can happen is that he will say yes. I recommend asking him within the first few days of being roommates, because it will be more of a neutral time and less awkward. I mean, it will be awkward, but not as awkward as asking him a few months down the line when you are all alone studying for a midterm.
  • Jump into bed with him one night. You know what can happen if you do this – all hell could break loose. But maybe you want it to break loose. Or do you? You might get a firm shove or he might throw you out of bed – that’s a sign that you’ve made a terrible mistake. Or he might just start madly making out with you and you will both thank that anonymous administrator that put you two strangers in the same room. Yet, this is one of the riskiest moves – extremely high stakes with a possible low return. I don’t recommend it.
  • Wait it out. This is probably the smartest move, but if something is meant to happen, it probably will. So, just be patient ­– even if something happens on the last day of school, you can thank yourself for waiting, and you can live always live together again next year. Or maybe, you’ll find that it’s easier to live separately while dating. Waiting is important because you want to pick up the cues first and you want to feel out the vibrations before you make a move or even bring it up. If it is meant to be, it is meant to be.

Read related article: 5 Creative Ways To Come Out of the Closet

When it comes to hooking up with your new hot roommate it is always better to be safe than sorry. You don’t want to offend anyone – especially someone that you have to live with. So make sure he is ready to hook up, or willing, before you do anything drastic. Although, you never know, college is a perfect time to experiment and you both might learn something.

Get 50% OFF on almost any single item plus Free Discreet Shipping, if you spend $20 or more with AdamMale.com coupon code GAYFRAT!

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No Man Needed: The Ultimate Gay Masturbators

No Man Needed The Ultimate Gay Masturbators

When you masturbate you want to recreate that feeling of getting an incredible blowjob or making love, but most of the time our silly hands just don’t cut it. Maybe it’s the pressure of the grip, or maybe it’s the fact that it just isn’t the real thing that can make masturbation feel sort of lame. At times, masturbating can feel like a chore, but with a masturbator, it not only feels exactly like the real thing, but it actually makes you look forward to going into your room, dimming the lights, flipping open the computer or a magazine, and rubbing one out. Hell, masturbators are also great for video chat sex, phone sex, and even foreplay.

Read related article: Does Size Matter For Gay Guys?

Here are some of the ultimate gay masturbators

  • Senso Pocket Penis. Ever hear of docking? It’s where you line your cock up with another guy’s cock – head to head – and insert your cock into another guy’s foreskin and masturbate. This pocket penis sort of creates the same feeling. Yet, it can also feel just like the best blowjob you’ve ever gotten from a guy. It also stretches and can fit onto any sized cock, so you don’t have to worry about being too thick or too small. Anybody can get his kicks with this amazing, orgasm-inducing pocket penis.
  • Hand Job Stroker. This stroker is the ultimate masturbation partner. The beauty and the wonder of this masturbator is its simplicity. The shape is a simple sleeve, but inside you will find over 100 pleasure nubs, which will provide you with an incredible sensation every time you masturbate with this stroker. Yet, it also makes a great foreplay tool and docking tool. Two guys can easily put their cocks through either end of this stroker and get each other off. It is also really easy to clean – just hold it under running water and clean with a little soap and you can keep using this amazing tool over and over again.

Read related article: To Swallow or Not to Swallow

At the end of the day, you don’t need a man to get a quality knob job and you don’t need a man to recreate the feeling of slipping your cock into the perfect asshole. In fact, with a masturbator, it can be just you and your imagination or a little porn – perhaps a picture of your lover. And you know those orgasms where you shoot ropes of semen as far as the eye can see? – Yeah, you’ll get those with a male masturbator.

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Why Extra Large Dildos Rule

Why Extra Large Dildos Rule

Dongs, dongs, dongs – the bigger they are, the better off you’ll be. However, sometimes it can be hard to find a man with an extra large member. A member that will make you drop your jaw – or unhinge your jaw – and say wow. This is why they make extra large dildos and this is why extra large dildos rule. If you haven’t been rammed in the asshole with anything larger than nine inches, you haven’t lived. The largest cock in the world is 13 inches – hard. Perhaps the world hasn’t been blessed yet with a mold of that guy’s cock yet, but it doesn’t matter – there are a lot of other extra large dildos to choose from. Dildos with the power to give you one of those orgasms that make you believe in a higher being.

Read related article: 5 Gay Fetishes That Might Brighten Your Sex Life

Here are a few nine-inch dildos that will rock your world. Warning: these dildos are not for the faint of heart or inexperienced…

The Great American Challenge – This ginormous cock is both the perfect length and perfect width for some promising anal destruction. This giant cock is a challenge indeed – but a worthwhile one. Sure, you could say that this is a giant, purple 12-inch cock that will give you one mind melting orgasm after the other, but it is so much more. Made out of a really unique jelly material, this gift is the perfect dildo for those power bottoms that need to be rocked in order to get off. It is also versatile: you can use it solo or you can use it with a partner in bed during foreplay. Just make sure, though, that you use plenty of lubrication, because this monster dong is wide and has twelve insertable inches – this is not a toy for anal newbies.

Incapacitator 9” Dong – With this monster dong, the title says it all – you will be incapacitated with pleasure. With over two and a half inches of width and a nine-inch shaft, this amazing silicone cock weighs a shocking 2 pounds. That is two pounds of incredible pleasure – ramming you in the asshole. Best of all, it is by far the most realistic of all the extra large dildos. Not only is this monster dong a nice fleshy color, but you’ve also got the massive bulging veins and a delicious pair of balls. Not only that, but you’ve got a nice suction cup so you can slap this baby down onto anything and get it on like donkey kong. However, it also makes a great foreplay tool as well – just be sure to use plenty of lube and kick up your bravery a few notches.

Read related article: Gay Porn Embarrassment

Why does extra large dildos rule? Because they are an adventure, they are a challenge and they feel fucking amazing. If you feel like you are up for a challenge, try one of the above monster dongs. Not only can you enlighten your masturbatory experiences, but you can also open up your world during foreplay too. Yet, monster dongs aren’t for everyone – you need plenty of experience in this department and you need to be ready for paralyzing pleasure and orgasms that will take you off your feet.

Use the coupon code GAYFRAT at checkout to get 50% OFF on almost any single item plus if you spend $20 or more, you’ll get Free Discreet Shipping on your entire order!

Should You Bang On A First Date?

Should You Bang On A First Date

Banging on a first date is a little bit like buying the first car you see on the lot. You drive it home and realize that you’ve got misfiring spark plugs and a loose gas cap. Okay, maybe dating is nothing like buying a car, but you can apply the same principles. You have to take a test drive before you make the commitment. Or do you? Is doing something on an impulse really that bad? Society seems to have no problem with impulse buys, but a lot of problems with impulse fucks. In the end, it seems the risks can be just as dangerous, or possibly fruitful.

Read related article: Car Sex

So, should you bang on the first date?

So, you are on a first date. Your first thoughts are usually more superficial. He has a cute ass. He has a great body. His chest hair is so hot. His lips are smoldering. He has amazing eyebrows. Of course you want to fuck him. You want to bend him over right then and there – right over the bread and butter. But then your common sense starts to kick in. If you fuck him now, how will he perceive you? How will you perceive him? These are just preliminary thoughts that you should be having before you even consider going back to his or yours.

However, things start to get a little tricky when you actually like the person – in a romantic way. This is where you have to put more thought into the implications of rushing into things. If you are on a date and the guy you are with is both attractive and smart, and you get along, you have to think about how you would feel if you gave yourself to him on the first date. Sometimes it is more special to wait – more romantic.  Sometimes you want to go on adventures together and then passionately fall into bed together and make love – not fuck.

Yet, you have to think of yourself in another way. What if he likes you too? If you fuck him, will he feel used and start to build up resentment? Some guys can definitely feel this way and it is a surefire way to destroy what could turn into something really good. If this is the case, you should wait. Yet, if you both really like each other, and you know the fire is there, you should definitely talk about those feelings. You need to both be on the same page before your emotions completely take over.

Read related article: To Swallow or Not to Swallow

At the end of the day, relationships are a lot like cars. You can keep leasing affordable midsized sedans that take you to and fro, and wherever else you need to go, but eventually you want something you can be proud to drive out of the garage. Sometimes you get older and you want something a little more reliable. Maybe you don’t want to constantly keep breaking up with guys and hunting for hot rebound sex – that consistent, hunky greased tow-truck that always comes to the rescue when you are on the side of the road. But then again, what if you’ve just met the one? Then is it okay to fuck on the first date?  When it comes down to it, you just have to use your own intuition. Life is a series of car wrecks, blowjobs, missed connections and bounced checks. If you just keep chugging along, your heart will lead you where you need to go.

Don’t forget to use coupon code GAYFRAT at AdamMale.com checkout to get 50% OFF on almost ANY item plus, if you spend $20 or more, get FREE Shipping on your entire order.

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5 Things That Give You That Morning After Yuck Feeling

5 Things That Give You That Morning After Yuck Feeling

Every one of us has had that moment: you peel open your eyes and look around and realize you went home with that guy the night before. You’re in a completely unfamiliar place and the room décor suggests that you are not in the same age demographic. Then, as your eyes start to get adjusted to the light, you start to feel something that is familiar: anxiety and awkwardness. As you grip your hands on the sheets and look around, you start to think of the fastest and most efficient getaway. Yet, it isn’t usually just the mere fact that you are in an unfamiliar place that it is so awkward, but a number of other factors too.

Read related article: How To Talk Dirty With Your Boyfriend

Here are 5 things that give you that morning after yuck feeling…

  1. He lives with his parents. There is nothing worse than waking up the morning after and realizing that he lives with his parents. You don’t know it at first, because you think the posters of hot guys on the wall are just a weird gag, but then you get called out to breakfast by his mom. At first you think she is his roommate – maybe a little too old to be a roommate – but then you meet his dad, his little brother, and his grandma. All of a sudden it hits you: he still lives with his parents. Luckily he is of age, but still – what 33-year old guy lives with his parents?
  2. Ah, the mess! There is nothing worse than waking up in a messy apartment, but if you wake up with a bit of a fuzzy memory from the night before in a stranger’s apartment, the mess can be even worse. At first it’s the smell – you think a neighbor is cooking some gross food, but then you see a stack of empty plates on a desk, empty beer cans and gross, dirty underwear all over the place. You think to yourself: how could you let yourself go home with such a gross guy! How could you debase yourself! Not only that, but all those cans on the floor can make it really hard to escape.
  3. You see a wedding photo. There is no better way to get that morning after yuck feeling than seeing a photo of the guy you slept with in the embrace of his wife – in their wedding photo. You didn’t know he was married and you sure as hell hope that she isn’t home – or coming home. All you can think of is the nasty standoff that would happen if she caught you in his bed. Yet, it makes it almost worse once you find out she is away for the weekend, but you know that she will never know her husband’s dirty, little secret.
  4. Past the check out time. This is a unique situation that can happen all the time. You wake up in a guy’s hotel room, but he is nowhere to be seen and there are three maids cleaning up and hotel manager telling you to get out. This is no way to wake up in the morning. It is also the best way to get the cringing, yucky feeling that you’ve been used and abused. Plus, why didn’t you wake up earlier? Now you have to pay the overcharge bill with that Toblerone you stole from the minibar.
  5. You wake up ridiculously early. You know when you wake up super early the next morning after partying all night and you want to curse your internal clock for doing so? It can be even worse if this happens when you wake up with that guy you went home with. He is snoring, it’s still kind of dark out, and you can sort of hear those morning birds. You also know that it will be ridiculously freezing outside and your car will feel like the inside of a refrigerator. This is one of the worst feelings in the world. Yet, you can always go back to your place and get a few more hours of sleep in.

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So, there you have 5 of the most common morning after scenarios that give you that churning stomach feeling. It is not a sign that you’ve hit rock bottom, it’s a sign that you should take a better inventory of where you do your partying and exactly what your limits are. Maybe set an alarm once a while. Who knows, maybe you don’t even want to get yourself in these situations in the first place. But you know you always will, because in the end they are so much fun.

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