Slurp! Slop! Gargle, Drool! You might think these words are being used to describe something a bit more “adult” but I’m going to use them for the topic of this article… Kissing. If you want to kiss a gay guy there are a few things you need to know and I’m here to explain it all to you!
Throughout this article I’m going to go over all the different elements associated with kissing a gay guy (whether you’re a dude who likes dudes or a girl who likes dudes who like dudes). I’m going to break it down into sections so you don’t kiss this article goodbye and read something else.
Let’s be honest, bad breath is a major turnoff! If you’re with someone who opens their mouth and it smells like rotting garbage you’re probably going to want to run for the hills. Think of it this way, if you wouldn’t kiss someone with bad breath then why would you expect someone to kiss you if you have stinky breath? I brush my teeth twice a day (once in the morning and once before bed) to stave off bad breath and nasty tooth diseases. Now I shouldn’t have to tell you how to brush your teeth (your mom should have done that), but if you were raised by wolves or in a country where toothbrushes are considered uncool let me break it down for you. Get a toothbrush with either soft or medium bristles (personal preference), toothpaste with fluoride (to prevent cavities) and use them every day.
See also: He Is Going To Kiss You
You’ll want to brush your teeth twice a day to prevent issues for at least 3 minutes (jam out to your favorite Nicki Minaj song to pass the time). After brushing you’ll want to use dental floss to clean and protect your gums. Flossing slows the rate of your gums receding and prevents you from having giant horse teeth at an early age. I also use mouthwash after each brushing to kill all the germs and bacteria in your mouth. If you suffer from halitosis (stinky breath problems) you’ll want to see your dentist and have them check it out. They’ll offer suggestions and (potentially) medical treatment for the issue.
If you’re looking for a natural way to freshen your breath, a lot of celebrities swear by oil pulling. The process involves gargling coconut oil for 10-20 minutes a day to remove all toxins and bacteria from your mouth. This isn’t to replace your daily dental care routine (don’t skip brushing) but to supplement the process. I’ve actually tried this process for a couple weeks and can honestly say it does help to keep your breath fresh and slightly tropical. It gets a bit gross after about 5 minutes but you get used to it.
Kissing a gay guy requires excellent oral hygiene and along with brushing, flossing and (possibly) oil pulling you could probably carry gum or mints to use before making out with a sexy gay guy.
Know the Situation
Something to definitely consider before kissing a gay guy is the situation. Are you getting hot and heavy? Are you playfully kissing under the mistletoe? Are you playing spin the bottle (a truly underappreciated game)? You have to know what’s going on before you start kissing a gay. If you’re in a playful situation then don’t get too excited or passionate. If you’re hot and heavy then be like the Olympics and go for gold.
See also: Gay Sex: Getting Started
First Gay Kiss
So you see a hot guy, he sees you and smiles! You make small talk and the situation is perfect for you to kiss him! Oh wait, there’s a bit of an issue… You’ve never kissed a gay guy before. Don’t worry my friend, it’s pretty simple! Kissing a gay guy is super easy but certain things need to be remembered as to not turn off a guy or potentially cause issues. There are a few rules that I think everyone should follow (whether you’re kissing a gay guy, a girl or anything in between). These rules apply to anyone who will kiss a gay guy at any time so here goes…
Whether you’re a seasoned pro at kissing or a newcomer to the gay tongue hockey team I recommend that you start slow. You’ll want to be gentle and start by kissing with your lips together (do your best Kylie Jenner duck face) and never force yourself on anyone. Always approach the other person slowly, otherwise you might knock into them (that would be hilarious but pretty unpleasant). If you’re nervous, I would suggest closing your eyes until you get more comfortable. Making direct eye contact with someone you’re kissing can be incredibly awkward and uncomfortable so I suggest closing your eyes and proceeding from there. Gentle kisses are always nice and great for everyone.
Alright so your gentle kissing is going well and the guy starts rubbing your back and getting into it. The next step in kissing is to get more intimate. So many times people get sloppy and wiggle their tongue around like a worm. I can honestly say that if I was making out with a guy and he jammed his tongue down my throat I would be majorly turned off! If you want to use your tongue, that’s fine but I recommend being mindful of the other person. If they’re keeping their tongue in their mouth and don’t seem to be into it, don’t push it. If they’re adventurous and exploring your mouth more than a dentist after Halloween then I would get into it and play tongue hockey. Just remember that kissing is a two person job and you never want to be off-putting to the other person. The one thing I would suggest when it comes to using your tongue is to not let it get lazy and sloppy. If you’re using your tongue try to keep it relatively muscular and firm, otherwise you might come off as a guy with a sloppy cow tongue.
Teeth are a wonderful thing! They help us chew food and smile! I have a huge issue when gay men kissing use their teeth too much. Gentle nibbling on the lips is okay for some people but test the water before jumping right into that. You’ll want to be very gentle and be mindful not to hurt the other person. I would highly suggest that you don’t ever nibble on the other guy’s tongue. This can be painful, unpleasant and a huge turnoff for certain guys.
You’re getting hot and heavy and things are going well. What do you do with your hands? Do they fall to your sides like a ragdoll? Do you grab the back of the guy’s head? Well as a general rule I suggest having your hands behind the other guy’s back and use them to hug him. Other places to place your hands include; touching their face (if you two are really comfortable with each other), tied behind your back (50 shades of “Hayyy”), holding the back of their head (again, only if you’re both comfortable) or holding hands with the other person. It all depends on the situation and how well you know the person. I wouldn’t ever suggest letting a stranger tie your hands behind your back but the other positions are okay to do with newly acquired friends.
Gay men kissing would make an excellent social experiment. We live in a modern society where in Canada and the United States gay marriage is legal and becoming increasingly accepted. I say, if you’re into the guy and he’s into you then kiss and let the world go on with their business. Haters are going to hate either way so you might as well enjoy yourself right? If you ever feel uncomfortable with kissing a gay guy in public then by all means save that for at home. I think the same rules apply for everyone, a little PDA (personal display of affection) is okay but I don’t need to see you basically having sex at the club. Keep it light and fun in public and save the freaky stuff for the bedroom (or kitchen, bathroom, garage, patio… wherever).
See also: Whorelando
Enjoy the Experience
When it really comes down to it, kissing is fun! Kissing is a way to express affection, desire and romance! Go with the flow and whatever happens try to enjoy it. If you’re not enjoying the experience you have every right to stop it and go on with your business. If someone ever forces themselves on you with kissing and won’t stop give them a good pop in the face and leave (I don’t agree with violence of any kind but if it means protecting yourself then do what you need to. I wouldn’t ever hit a girl though… That’s really not cool!). Practice makes perfect so go out there, kiss plenty of gay guys, girls and all other people, learn and enjoy.
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