How To Tell If A Guy From Class Is Gay

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Alright fratters, I’m getting personal here. One of the hardest things for gay men to navigate is figuring out a guy’s sexuality…

It happens to all of us. You’re in class. You’ve got a crush on the cute guy that smiles and laughs a lot (his cute ass and nice bulge don’t hurt either). You want to pounce on him, but you’re not sure if he’s even gay, bi or curious. Whatever are you to do? I recently had to grapple with this firsthand and I’d like to share my story with you.

See also: How To Have Tons Of Sex In Your Dorm And Not Get Caught

Last year, I started class. It was another boring day. I grabbed the syllabus from the professor and then took it to my chair. I stared at the clock over the whiteboard already counting down the minutes for class to end, before it had even started. I slump forward and rest my face on my fist. In walks this fucking hunk. ATTENTION! My body reacted before I could. I sat straight up and my eyes honed in on him like a hawk. He smiled the most devilishly sexy smile to the prof as he grabbed the syllabus. I immediately wanted him to notice me and not see me at all at the same time. He climbed the risers of the classroom; his tight khakis stretched over his handsome thighs and hugged his firm ass. As he made his way up to the row I sat in, he turned. I wanted him to set next to me. Or did I? It was definitely a rush of feelings. He ended up sitting next to a girl he clearly knew. She laughed loudly at something he said. At that moment, I knew they were probably together. Maybe she was his girlfriend. Well, at least I could admire him. A little eye candy is always a plus.

The class ended. I hurried across the riser, ready to get to my next class. Then that stud stood up, just as I was about to pass him, “Oh hi,” he said.
“Hi?” I replied awkwardly, barely able to keep eye contact.
“Aren’t you friends with Chad, Chad Page?”
“Uh, yeah. We used to date,” I said, purposefully outing myself.
“That’s right. He’s a great guy.”
“Yeah, Chad’s fun.”
“I’m Ray,” he said and extended his hand.
“Blake. Nice to meet you.”
“You too. See you around,” Ray said.

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“How do I tell if he’s gay? How can you tell if ANYONE is gay? I concluded there was no way to tell…”

He gave a firm handshake that seemed to linger a moment too long. Which seemed odd to me. Wow. Well, that was cool. We had a mutual friend. Maybe I could crowdsource Ray’s sexual orientation! I immediately texted Chad and asked him about Ray. I tried to beat around the bush for a bit and finally asked, if Ray was queer. Chad didn’t know. I spent the better part of my next class on my phone trying to find Ray on social media. He had a private Facebook account and no Twitter handle that I could find. I was stumped.

I spent the next couple of weeks in class scrutinizing Ray; what he wore, what he said, how he spoke, who he spoke to. I’d get hard just looking at him, picturing him naked. It was bordering on obsession, as are most crushes. I stopped going on dates and hooking up with guys, because Ray filled my entire headspace. Blah. I hated. How do I tell if he’s gay? How can you tell if ANYONE is gay? I concluded there was no way to tell. Tight clothes, fit bod, clean cut, loud behavior, over-the-top mannerisms, etc. Are all just stereotypes and tropes. I’d been with enough guys to know that as fact.

I’d just ask him. That’s the only way to tell. I knew it would be inappropriate to do it in class or with anyone around. I wanted the space to be safe for us both. It needed to be public, but not n front of everyone. I invited Ray to a party my (straight) friend was throwing. The conversation went like this:
“Ray, what are you doing the weekend?”
“Hi Blake, nothing really,” Ray replied.
“My friend Sam is throwing a kegger party on Saturday,” I said reeling that he had remembered my name, “Want to come?”
“Yeah, I actually was planning on going already. It’s gonna be a big one,” Ray said with a slight smile.
“Great. I’ll see you there.”

Of course this offered no new clues or insights. It didn’t even leave the possibility for this to be a date. I’d invited him, but he was already going to Sam’s party. Well, at least I knew he’d be there.

Saturday rolled around and you better believe I did my manscaping. On the off chance I’d get the opportunity to take my clothes off with Ray, I wanted to look my best. I shaved and even douched (just in case you’re interested: Ultra Douche). Nothing was going to stop me from getting with Ray if I got the chance. I tapped my toe on the floor of my dorm room. Finally, I waited for it to be a cool hour after the party started before heading to it. I did a smell test and checked my breath. It was going down!

I got to the party and downed two beers as fast as I could. I needed the liquid courage. My heart nearly stopped when I finally say Ray. He was talking with Chad, of all people. I filled my red plastic cup and filled another one to bring over to Ray. ‘You can do this, you can do this, you can do this,” I repeated over and over in my head, my own special gay mantra. I did my best to signal to Chad to leave. I wanted some alone time with Ray. He missed the signal so I made up a little white lie.

“Hey guys,” I said to them.
“Hi Blake, good to see you,” Chad said.
“You too. Chad, Sam’s looking for you. I think he needs your help with ice or something,” I lied.
“I’ll catch you later,” Chad said and stepped away.
“How’s it going?” I asked Ray.
“No complaints,” he replied.
“Oh! I brought you a refill,” I said and handed him the extra cup.
“Thanks man,” he said and took a gulp of it.
“I don’t want to… There’s no easy way for me to ask you this. Do you ever date guys?”
Ray nearly choked on the beer. I saw my life flash in front of my eyes (not really, but I was really embarrassed). Ray wiped his mouth and chin dry and then looked at me with a smile.
“I’m straight. But, I’m really flattered.”
I laughed. I didn’t know what else to do. I must have turned fifty shades of red. I knew my douching had been in vain. I wanted to just turn and walk away.
“That has actually happened to me a couple of times. I think I put off a vibe. But, it always makes me feel good. So thanks,” Ray joked.
“You never can tell. Just thought I’d ask…”

Ray and I talked for the rest of the party. It was fun. I made a friend (albeit a straight one). I ended up going home with Chad that night (douching NOT in vain).

See also: Some Rules On Gay College and Gay Flirting Tips

How to tell if he’s gay? Is one of the most googled questions. I see why. The answer is there is no true “tell.” You have to put yourself out there and ask…

If you find the courage to do it, I think you should. Just make sure you’re in a safe space. Some guys aren’t comfortable in their masculinity and might lash out. You might make a new friend or have the best sex of your life. Who knows? But, the only way you’ll be able to find out is to ask. Even if his profile says “Straight” or “Interested in Women” you should always ask. You might change a life 🙂

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Older Gay Men vs. Young Gay Men

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This is a college frat website, so a majority of the readers are young gay men. However, I have been noticing that a lot of older gay men have been checking out the site too – probably to look at all the fine young men talking about sex. It’s true, sometimes I get a little horny just writing this stuff. Because of this, I thought it would be fun to write an article about some of the differences between young gay men and older gay men. This is important, because in the world of gay dating, there have been a lot of situations where a younger gay man will fall for an older man’s charms.

Read related article: Why Dating Older Guys Can Be Better Than Dating Younger Guys

Is it the money? Is it the experience? What do gay men have that younger gay men don’t have?

I once dated an older gay man and I was surprised to learn wasn’t experienced at all. In fact, I realized that I was more experienced sexually than he was. He was so inexperienced that I had to show him the basics of going down on a guy. Anal sex was a chore, because he didn’t even know if he was a top or bottom. This curious predicament went against everything I knew about older gay men.

Was he a virgin? Was he in the closet for so long that he just didn’t know what he was doing? What I have found in some of my research is that older gay men are more inexperienced because they come from a different generation. This is especially the case for some silver haired foxes – these older gay men were gay in an era where you could lose your job if you flicked your wrist the wrong way. A lot of younger gay men are more experienced, because more tolerance has basically given them a head start. You can definitely put me in this demographic.

So, what was up with this older gay man that I was dating? What I learned is that he was actually married and he never really came out of the closet. In fact, he had never had gay sex before. It explained why he would look at my cock like it was some complicated tool he had to figure out. Also, anal sex was tortuous for him and me, because he really didn’t know what he was doing. Now this guy is fully embracing the fact that he is gay and he still lives with his wife, but only because they are used to it and she supports him. We still fuck on occasion.

Another really big difference between younger gay men and older gay men is that older gay men have their shit together…

They have a solid job and they are making that scratch in a serious way. It’s like when you hit forty-five, you immediately have a job with a salary. Plus, a lot of older gay men are more experienced. They have been around the block a few times, in more ways than one, so you can expect that sex will be a lot hotter.

Read related article: Gay Sex Stories

In the end, dating older gay men can be fun, but you have to know what you are getting yourself into. You don’t want to hook up with an older guy just because he has money – you want to hook up with him because you like him. It’s true that older gay guys have a certain confidence that makes them really hot, so if you do get into a relationship with an older guy just for the sex, make sure that the feeling is mutual. Remember: older gay men still have feelings.

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The Top 5 Things First-Timers Should Know About Anal Sex

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Getting ready for anal sex is a little bit like getting ready to drive a car for the first time. The only difference is that there is no training school for anal sex. Also, the only instructor you’ll have teaching you about anal sex is the first guy you’ll be having anal sex with. This is the reason why it can be important to have some ideas about what to expect, because the last thing you want when it comes to anal sex is to be pleasantly surprised.

Read related article: The Secrets of Anal Sex

Here are the top five things first-timers should know about anal sex…

1. It might hurt. If you think about it, the butthole is only so wide and it only opens for special occasions – a special occasion you don’t want happening in bed. So, you have to find a way to make yourself more relaxed. The more open you are – literally open – the better it will feel. However, you can expect some discomfort regardless.

2. You will want to use lube. Lube will be your best friend as a gay man figuring out anal sex for the first time. Lube will help you slip in and out. When it comes to lube, you want to probably use a silicone lubricant, because it will last a long time and it is condom safe. You do not want to use petroleum lubricant, because that can mess with the condom.

3. You may realize that you like being on top rather than the bottom. One thing that a lot of gay men realize when they are getting pounded in the ass is that they would much rather be the one doing the pounding. If this is the case, you want to speak up and make your desires known.

4. Take a shower before you have anal sex. Anything regarding the great brown starfish should involve cleanliness, so make sure that you take a shower. You really want to scrub deep inside your asshole. If you can, take a big shit too. It can help to be clean, but also empty too.

5. It is going to feel good – really good. Besides the pain, anal sex is going to feel really good. So, you want to take a deep breath and let that cock gently slide inside you. As he is going for it and really getting into the groove, you should try and roll with the motions in the ocean. This should help alleviate your nervousness and make your first anal sex experience a good one.

Read related article: Why Anal Sex Kits Rule

In the end, anal sex can be a wild ride, especially for your first time around. All you need to know, though, is that the first time will be a little discomforting, but if you keep your butthole spotless and make sure to slather his cock and your asshole with lube, you’ll be fine. It is anal sex after all – not heart surgery.

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