The Gay Frat Reviews: Clone-A-Willy

The Gay Frat Reviews Clone-A-Willy

Have you ever wanted to fuck yourself? I have, and I actually was able to do it. Clone-A-Willy allows you to actually feel your own dick inside of you. ALL without some sort of radioactive dick cloning experiment. You can make your own dildo. That’s right, fuck off Brett Corrigan, there is a new dildo model in town: you. The kit is simple to use, and allows you to make an immortal clone of your penis. It would make the perfect Christmas gift for that special someone, valentines gift, and keep your sex life alive long after you die. That was a bit morbid, but seriously, let your penis live long after you are gone. Get the Clone-A-Willy Kit! This would also make a great coffee table conversation starter.

Your house guests will be like: ‘Holy shit, that penis is really fucking perfect, who’s is it and where can I get one?’

Or bring it on a first date to break the ice about sex. Pull it out of your man­bag and say, ‘What do you think about this?’ (They may ejaculate in their pants, so… beware)

Give it to your ‘ex­boyfriend’ after you break up with him. Say something along the lines of, “I am the best you will ever have, so I wanted to give you this.” He will use it every night for the rest of his life.

Put it in a trophy case, or nail it to a plaque and put it on your wall. All the boys will be so impressed. And if someone ever tried to burgle you, they would see your giant cock on the wall and leave without taking a thing in fear of getting fucked by it.

This product is fucking awesome, and the deal gets even more fucking awesome. Use promocode GAYFRAT when you checkout of with the Clone-A-Willy in your cart and you will get 50% OFF! That is 20$, and with FREE SHIPPING if you spend $20 or more!

Yeah, this deal is fucking awesome. So get going, get the Clone-A-Willy and brighten somebody’s day. Or sit on it.

Car Sex

Car Sex

Sex is fucking great. Sex is great in a hot tub, sex is great on a couch, bed, plane, park bench, and even in the car. However, when it comes to sex in the car, there are a few things to keep in mind. Things that will keep you from hitting your head on the ceiling, things that will keep you from backing your ass into the horn, and things that will keep you from cumming on the nice leather.

It is optimal when you are going to have sex in the car to come prepared. Lets face it, if you are horny enough to do it in a metal box, lined with windows, then you are not going to want to have to run to the gas station to buy condoms and a rag.

Read related article: To Swallow or Not to Swallow

If you are the owner of this car, it is of the utmost importance to clean out the car as thoroughly as possible.

I will illustrate my point with a story.

His name was Jake something or other, last names at this point honestly didn’t matter. We had just sat through a two-hour movie, him holding my hard dick, and me holding his.

So as you can imagine, two hours left us being shy of breeding bunnies. If it wasn’t for the lack of unisex bathrooms, I likely would have left the theatre 10 times sweatier, stickier, and satisfied than I did.

However, as reality had it, we left in a horny-trance, looking for anything shy of a dense bush to fuck behind. We were no longer logical human beings; we had transitioned into animals- animals in heat.

He hardly could even finish the question, ‘Car?’ before I was nodding and in a half sprint toward the dense parking lot.

He was a muscle bear and struggled to keep up with my swift twink-like stride, however the sexual adrenaline mixed with (what I am imagining was) steroids didn’t keep him too far behind.

We climbed into his truck and decided that we would pull along back of the movie theatre where nobody would be parked before stripping down and getting down.

His cock was so visibly attempting to liberate itself from the captive clutches of his denim jeans. It was porn perfect.

We parked in the most isolated part possible and within seconds were completely naked. Both our dicks were shy of popping.

I, being the bottom I am, climbed over the center council, as he reclined his seat. I was just about going in for a landing on his rod when I was stabbed.

“MOTHER FUCKING FUCK SHIT!” (I know, I have a way with words, some call me a poet)

I had been stabbed in the thigh. Reaching down for the weapon, I realized that this was not a knife or sword, but instead a 6 month old cheese-it that has with age, sharpened up, and hardened to a comparable composite of a diamond.

It actually punctured my skin, and blood lightly spotted in the line it brushed against me. My boner was lost, it was simply not going to happen.

It wasn’t my first time at the ‘car-sex’ rodeo, however, it was my first time being injured during sex by one of my favorite snack foods.

A clean car is vital when it comes to sex, and more importantly, sex-proofing you car.

Like baby-proofing, the sexual environment should be sex-proofed. This includes, but is not exclusive to removing all potential weapons from sight, removing anything with a noxious odor, as well as removing spill-able or upset-able objects from the range of sex.

This, along with personal hygiene, will make sex much more enjoyable, and substantially reduce the potential for failure.

In a car, it is important to remember that you are confined to a very limited space; so removing anything that takes up any usable space is obviously a good idea. This includes everything that is not vital to the event, dirty laundry, shopping bags, old receipts, and last weeks McDonalds bags must go.

Many choose to relocate to the back seat if the center console becomes an impediment to the activity, and with this, it is a good idea to have a sheet laid in the back to avoid cum-related cleanup, or stains.

Read related article: Should You Bang On A First Date?

If the front is acceptable, and you are trying to be incognito about the dirty little act, it would be wise to back the seat as far back to avoid sounding the horn with every thrust.

My last car tip would have to be to remember that the AC and defroster are a very useful tool in hiding. However, it is important to be smart when using these tools. You may not want a steamy car, however you most certainly will not want a dead-battery. So when using the AC/defroster to un-steam, or cool down some hot sex, it is important to occasionally crank the engine depending on how long the performance is.

Sex is great. Sex in a car is great. However, sex in the car holds potentially one of the highest risks for failure of all the locations you may come to choose. So be smart when anticipating the possibility of such an occurrence, this includes having lube, condoms, towels, and a clean car. All of which will fluently transform your car into a love wagon.

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Need some gay bottoming tips? Bottoming can be one of the most terrifying endeavors a gaybie or new gay will ever face in their sexual self-discovery. The only combat to this fear of the unknown would be knowledge and an acute awareness of your own body. There is no shame in exploring the ‘down under’ in the privacy of your shower, bed, or well…. Anywhere. In fact, it is vital to having better sex. As gay bottoms, getting to know yourself, on the inside, will help you locate your prostate, increase anal penetrative comfort as well as simply familiarize with how such a penetration feels.

Read related article: Being A Bottom

Bottoming is not for everyone; however, everyone should at one point in their gay life, try it. I am sure we have all heard the horror stories associated with such bottoming, but I will tell you first hand that they highly unlikely, and virtually impossible if you are a gay bottom and well learned on the ins and outs of penetration.
When I lost my virginity, it was horrible. Upon having never explored myself alone, the man had a very thick cock, and I was haunted by the slim chance of defecation. I tensely took each thrust while repeating to myself, ‘Don’t shit, Don’t shit, Don’t shit.’

I didn’t and have bottomed several times since, each successive time, a little longer, a little harder, a little deeper, and more relaxed.

Sex revolves around relaxation. If you are not relaxed, no matter who he, how horny you are, or how much lube you use, the sex will be horrible.

Be confident in your judgment. And most importantly, eat accordingly, if you are planning on bottoming, it is probably not a good idea to precede it with a spicy-Mexican-meal, but instead something that you know will not upset the stomach, like fruit. This does not mean that you can’t fuck after going on a sushi-date, I am instead just advising you play it safe by eating foods you are comfortable, and familiar with, and it is useful to have a light meal.

Do go to the bathroom before bottoming if possible. Like your mother likely did on car trips, advise yourself to ‘Go to the bathroom, because it will be a bit of a trip until your next chance to.’

If you are comfortable administering an enema, or douching, feel free to do so. However, do know that each activity does hold the potential to irritate the walls of your anal canal. Excessive douching may also lead to dehydration. So do not have the first time you are doing either of these activities be pre-sex, but instead practice yourself pre-masturbation and see how you like it.

I cannot stress the importance of protection enough. Regardless of whether or not it feels better, do not have sex without a condom. Stand firm by this. HIV is real, and can easily be contracted from unprotected sex with an infected partner.

Read related article: 5 Tips On How To Be A Happy Bottom

My last suggestion in this brief article on bottoming would be to use lube, and a lot of it. Do not use saliva, for it holds germs that could potentially transmit an STI, due to an oral infection that may go without symptoms. Using infected saliva could spread the infection to your anus, or genitals.

Not only is saliva an unclean alternative, but also it is also much less slick, and lubricant than lube itself. Lubricants will decrease skin-on-skin resistance; allow a less strenuous or hesitant penetration.

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